On Becoming Baby Wise

Well, things have been a little different around here lately. Ever since reading and incorporating the Baby Wise philosophy into our daily lives, Momma has been happier, baby has been even more content settling into a predictable routine, and Daddy is happy that the family is in harmony :) I have seen the effects that a husband/wife bond has on family life first hand, and really buy into the notion that the core of the family is a healthy, loving spousal relationship, which in turn fosters a healthy parent-child relationship and provides the security and positiive sense of self children require. The best thing we can do for the baby is to provide a solid, loving home - and help baby understand that there is a structure and routine for his life.

As a Type-A personality who thrives on structure and control, the Baby Wise process has given me some peace of mind that there can be a flexible structure amidst the chaos and unpredictability of life with an infant. Ever since about 6 weeks, we have been incorporating a schedule that begins with a feeding at 7:30am, followed by some awake time, followed by a nap, until another feeding ~ 3 hours after the previous one. We repeat this schedule of eat, wake, sleep throughout the day until the "dreamfeed" at 10:30pm, which Ben doesn't really fully wake up for ... he nurses with his eyes closed and goes right back to sleep when he's finished. Then we let baby sleep until he wakes me up at some point in the night. It started that we would only go about 3 hours, then 3.5, then 4. I am usually up with him for about an hour during the middle of the night feeding(s). As he goes longer, it has reduced the number of times I am up with him during the night. We hope the trend of extending nighttime sleep will continue, until eventually he will sleep from his dreamfeed at 10:30pm until his waketime of 7:30am.

Of course every child is different, and every parent has their own opinions about what is best for their life/baby. I don't agree with everything Baby Wise espouses - like letting your baby cry it out - I just can't stand to do that, and for our baby, it works to attend to him and help him not be upset. He hardly ever cries and almost always goes right to sleep, so I know there is probably something he needs help with if he is crying. All in all though, I'm really happy we have found a reference to help provide structure for us and a healthy routine for Ben.

Two Months

Benjamin,

Today you are two months old!

My what a difference a month makes for you little one. You have grown so much in the last month. At about 5 weeks, you started giving us little smiles, and you have been giving us more and more smiles every day since then! This is a picture of one of your first smiles.
Most recently, you have begun to find your voice - and what a sweet voice it is. You give us lots "ahhh, oooo, guuuoooo, coooeeeeoooo". It's so funny to watch you figure it out - you sometimes get a surprised look on your face when a new sound escapes! Clearly, there are more sounds that are just waiting to get out - we get the impression words are "stuck" at the back of your throat. But man you're having fun figuring it out :)

You have really been exploring your world this month. You hold your head up like a champ, and you love to be carried facing out so you can look all around. You especially like the mirror I hung next to your changing station - you smile at the baby in the mirror, and "talk" to him too :) In fact, the changing station seems to be your favorite spot - you do the most smiling and "talking" to us too when you are laying there.The other new thing lately is your activity gym on the floor that has a bunch of bright toys and things dangling from arches above you. There is a "kickmat" attached to it that plays music and lights up when you kick it. It took you less than a day to figure out that cause and effect relationship. So now you kick at it, stay still while it plays music, and as soon as it gets quiet, you kick at it again to get it to start back up. That's probably the first example we have seen where you clearly are learning that you have control of your body in a way that is able to affect change in your environment. You have strong legs for your age, and you love to stand up and down in my lap while I hold your hands to keep you steady.
Needless to say, this is all really cool to watch, and you guessed it, Mommy and Daddy are sooo proud of you Ben!!! We can't wait to see what the next month has in store ...

This Great Grandson Is So Loved

Benjamin is so blessed to have the most amazing Great Grandma and Great Grandpa - my maternal grandparents. They have been married almost 56 years, have 5 incredible children, 7 grandchildren and now their first great grandchild.We had a really special visit when they came all the way from Florida to visit. We spent lots of time cuddling and playing with baby at home, and we also managed to visit downtown Dallas, where JFK was assassinated, Addison where we used to live, and the Stockyards in Fort Worth. The Winter Olympics were going on, so we were able to watch some of that as well - it brought back memories of when we got together with my mom's side of the family in Atlanta for the Summer Olympics in 1996.

It was so cool to have four generations of family together this weekend. We will always cherish this time we all got to spend together.

A Visit from Auntie Sarah

The night of the snowstorm, one of my very best friends in the whole world Sarah came into town. It was a miracle she got in that night, and we were so glad she got here safely on the last flight they were letting into the airport! It was SO special to spend this time with Sarah, for her to meet Ben, and for us to experience this unique time together. It's a strange time in my life - trying to figure out mommyhood and still hold onto all the ways I have previously defined myself. Sarah is a true friend who is always there for me, and spending time with her helped remind me of who I have always been and can continue to be - even after baby.

One night we had a girls night out - pizza, wine and a movie - SO fun!

We spent a lot of quality time with the baby - he was clearly smitten with his Auntie Sarah ...

Sarah even babysat for us while Jeff and I had a Valentine's date night. AND she made us lasagna and pasta sauce to freeze and make when we're in need of a great homecooked meal, but I don't have time to prepare one for us. Such an amazing friend, and a visit I will never forget! We love you Auntie Sarah!!! :)

A Record Snowfall

Yesterday, we had a record snowfall here in Dallas! It snowed about 10 inches at our house, and up to 14 inches around the Metroplex. It was was beautiful, and a huge surprise, even to the forecasters. They were saying there was a small chance of precipitation, and it definitely would NOT be frozen. About 12 hours later, this was the scene:Jeff and I had a blast throwing snowballs and building a snowman. There is something so special about the quietness that comes with a heavy snowfall, and we really enjoyed being out there together - it felt like stealing a few moments away, as the baby was sleeping, safe and warm in his bed we escaped to play in the snow :)

The next day, before all the snow had a chance to melt, we brought Benjamin outside to experience snow for the first time. It was too bright for his little eyes to open even though he was awake, but I think he enjoyed it nonetheless.

Nana & Grandpa Come to Town

This past week, Jeff had to go out of town for work, so his parents came up to stay with Mr. Benjamin and me for the week. We had a wonderful visit! It was great that Nana and Grandpa could see their grandson - I think he changed noticeably just in the week they were here! He is changing so much, and we don't want to miss a thing. It was also nice to have company here - I think I would get really lonely if it was just me here with the baby for a week. Nana even watched the baby while I got my hair done one day and my toenails done another day - I was in heaven ;)

We are so grateful for their support and love! After Jeff got back in town, they even encouraged us to get out for a date night - we gladly accepted :) So they had their first time babysitting as grandparents. Based on the pictures I saw, it looks like they thoroughly enjoyed the experience :) Thank you Nana and Grandpa, we love you!!!I will write more in another post, but I have to mention here that having Jeff's parents in town afforded me the ability to finish reading the Babywise book, and that has changed things for us so much - for the better! Prior to this 6-week mark, we were really not in a routine and were always reacting to the circumstances, instead of proactively helping to manage the circumstances. I think we are all much happier and healthier now that we have become a little more babywise!

SMILES!!!

Well, I think babies have a way of knowing just the right time to bust out the smile - right about when Mom thinks she has reached her breaking point, going on 6 weeks with little to no sleep, the only feedback from her child coming in the form of crying or not crying. Juuuuust when you're getting down, baby decides to woo you all over again with his smile. Ah yes, the most precious, beautiful, welcome smile you have ever seen. I have truly never wanted a human interaction as badly as I wanted this level of recognition from my child. It wasn't just his smile - which, of course is absolutely the most charming and precious thing - but more so for me, it was the fact that his whole face lit up and many things we communicated to me that he had not been able to express up to that point. In his smile I saw joy, contentment, recognition - true, unbridled happiness. Which of course, as a parent, is what you want most for your child. I expected to be excited by his smile. To love it. But I didn't expect to fall in love with the twinkle in his eye every time he smiles. The way his whole body smiles. Oh my goodness, this baby knows how to Work. That. Smile. And I truly couldn't be happier.

One Month

Benjamin,

Today you are one month old!

You are doing SO well being a baby, and Mommy and Daddy are so proud of you!!! You are growing and changing every day. You're nursing great (we finally figured it out so it wouldn't hurt Mommy anymore - yay!) and you're already up to 10 lbs which your doctor can't believe! You hardly ever cry, and when you do, it is very predictable ... you're either hungry or need to be burped. You're VERY strong for your age, holding your head up often and doing lots of arm and leg "exercises". When you have "tummy time" to strengthen your neck muscles, you like to scoot yourself along the ground like an army crawl if we put our hands against your feet. We can tell there is a very active boy inside just waiting to be old enough to scoot around!

One of the neatest things that has happened towards the end of your first month is that you have become much more alert. You have longer periods of awake time, and you are SO wide-eyed and curious about the world around you. You pop your head up and fix your eyes on things around the room. Your head bobbles around after you've had it up for a while, but it's just the practice you need to hold your head up on your own.

Ben, you love looking at your books and toys. Your favorite is Swirl the Snail, which has a black and white swirled shell. You also held a toy for the first time this past week - you were moving it around and didn't want to let go! Mommy and Daddy couldn't be more proud :)Mommy takes you for a walk almost every day, because we have had a lot of nice sunny days over the last few weeks. As a family we have even ventured out to dinner with friends, the grocery store and a local park. Mommy was very nervous the first time I took you to the grocery store with me ... I realized once we got home that I hadn't taken a deep breath the whole time we were out!

This whole month has been an amazing adventure! In many ways it's harder than we ever anticipated, but it's also brought more joy than we could imagine or ask for. You are a precious angel, Benjamin. Happy one month birthday!

Grandma CiCi's Extended Stay!

My Mom was kind enough to stay for about 3 weeks after Ben was born. She was a lifesaver!!! She taught me a lot about life as a mom ... every day had lessons little and big ... the best way to burp a baby, how to properly "latch" for nursing, how to wash your hands while holding baby, how to take a trip out with baby, and on and on. She also cleaned, did laundry, cooked us meals and helped keep me (mostly) sane :) She also encouraged Jeff and I too go on our first little date as new parents. It felt really weird to leave Ben at home, but it was nice to reconnect as husband and wife over dinner and - gasp - a glass of wine!

During the time Mom was here, we had Ben's and my 2-week checkups. Precious did great at his checkup and I was cleared to drive.

Thanks Momma!!! We loved having you here and will always be grateful for all your help during this crazy, special time.

The Early Days

From mom's perspective, the first few days at home have been a blur. Most importantly, Ben is a happy, healthy, thriving little boy. He has already brought immeasurable joy to our lives - we are in love :)

He smiles in his sleep a lot, he is very content and hardly cries at all. So far he seems to be a very patient, mellow baby. We hope he stays that way! Dad has become an expert diaper changer, burper and swaddler practically overnight. Mom and baby have been trying to get the hang of nursing, and we are doing feedings every 2-3 hours, leaving small 30-90 minute windows for sleep. Despite the lack of sleep, we are feeling good and enjoying the day to day experiences of being new parents. We ooh and ahh over every expression and squeak that Ben makes, and are in awe of the miracle of this new little life.
We have SO much support from our parents, Patrick, Chris and Shannon who have helped with meals, cleaning, shopping, errands galore and anything else we needed. Not sure how we would have done it without all their help. Here we all are on 12/28, celebrating Christmas :)We decided to have Ben in our bed with us for these first few days so we can clearly hear his breathing, and be ready with the suction if he had any breathing problems (typically paranoid new parents!) He makes so many funny/suspicious noises in his sleep, but we are learning that it's normal and to be expected.

He had a visit to his pediatrician the day after we got home (5 days old), and he was almost back to his birth weight already, weighing in at 7lb 10oz. We had a whole list of questions for the Dr., and left the appointment feeling a lot more confident about life at home with Ben. We went for a walk with him and gave him his first sponge bath 2 days after we got home from the hospital.
We celebrated New Year's Eve as a family, played games and had a great time toasting the newest addition to the family :)He had some early visitors too ... my Godparents, Lou and Kathie, as well as our friends Katie K., Katie O., Marisa, Meredith, Megan and Angelo. It has been so much fun to introduce this little miracle to our friends and loved ones!